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Ever found yourself in a “crappy” situation with no tissue in sight? Fear not, brave reader — Shart Attack has your backside covered! This cheeky gag gift book is packed with hundreds of gloriously blank pages, perfect for . . . well, you know what.

Crafted with premium ultra-soft (ish) paper, this “novel” offers more relief than a Sunday morning coffee run. It’s the #2 best-seller for anyone who appreciates potty humor, bad decisions, and backup plans.

Whether you keep it on your bathroom shelf as a conversation starter or gift it to that one friend who’s full of it, Shart Attack is guaranteed to make a splash (hopefully not literally).

Warning: Not officially endorsed by plumbers, book clubs, or anyone with good taste.