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How Jesus Heals Horny is the book I wish had been given to me when I was trapped in darkness, wandering around in New York City bars and porn theaters, searching for someone or something to make me stop hurting.

I was a very promiscuous man. My friend Kevin summed it up well one day when he said, "Good Lord, Robert. I did the math and can safely say that only Rogaine has been on more men than you." Kevin has a way with words.

The first chapter of this book is titled "The Birth of a Human Toilet." You can figure out the rest. There, I warned you.

Oh yeah, I wanted to make this book funny, while sharing what I have learned about Jesus. I hope I succeeded.