{"id":15085,"date":"2025-02-22T10:09:00","date_gmt":"2025-02-22T08:09:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.knygos.lt\/blogas\/?p=15085"},"modified":"2025-02-21T10:17:57","modified_gmt":"2025-02-21T08:17:57","slug":"prieraisumo-paradoksu-autore-g-zalyte-kenciame-nes-priskiriame-sau-per-daug-galiu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.knygos.lt\/blogas\/prieraisumo-paradoksu-autore-g-zalyte-kenciame-nes-priskiriame-sau-per-daug-galiu\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201ePrierai\u0161umo paradoks\u0173\u201c autor\u0117 G. \u017dalyt\u0117: ken\u010diame, nes priskiriame sau per daug gali\u0173"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

8 i\u0161 10 \u2013 tiek jaun\u0173 \u017emoni\u0173 Lietuvoje jau\u010diasi vieni\u0161i. Tuo tarpu kaip vien\u0105 did\u017eiausi\u0173 vertybi\u0173 da\u017enai \u012fvardijame, kad esame nepriklausomi, laisvi ir sugebame neprisiri\u0161ti. Tad k\u0105 byloja \u0161is paradoksas? Apie m\u016bs\u0173 mezgamus ry\u0161ius k\u0105 tik pasirod\u017eiusioje knygoje \u201ePrierai\u0161umo paradoksai<\/a>\u201c kalba patyrusi psicholog\u0117-psichoterapeut\u0117 Giedr\u0117 \u017dalyt\u0117<\/a>.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Prie\u0161 metus pasirod\u017eiusi specialist\u0117s knyga \u201eGamtos terapija\u201c sulauk\u0117 did\u017eiulio skaitytoj\u0173 d\u0117mesio, tad G. \u017dalyt\u0117 neria dar giliau \u012f knyg\u0173 pasaul\u012f. Kod\u0117l kartais taip sunku ko nors imtis? Kod\u0117l ne\u017einau, ko noriu? Kod\u0117l nepasitikiu savimi? Kod\u0117l negaliu sukurti laiming\u0173 santyki\u0173? Pasak G. \u017dalyt\u0117s, galb\u016bt patyr\u0117te ankstyv\u0173j\u0173 prierai\u0161umo traum\u0173 ir jos teb\u0117ra nei\u0161gydytos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201ePrierai\u0161umo paradoksai\u201c skirti norintiems u\u017e\u010diuopti ir suprasti nelengvas vaikyst\u0117s patirtis ir j\u0173 paliktus p\u0117dsakus. Kod\u0117l vis\u0173 problem\u0173 \u0161akn\u0173 ie\u0161kome vaikyst\u0117je? Ar tikrai jos ten? Apie tai kalbam\u0117s su psichologe-psichoterapeute G. \u017dalyte ir kvie\u010diame \u012f jos knygos \u201ePrierai\u0161umo paradoksai\u201c pristatym\u0105 Vilniaus knyg\u0173 mug\u0117je vasario 28 d., penktadien\u012f, 16 val. 5.3 Litexpo sal\u0117je: https:\/\/fb.me\/e\/2ww9RGBFQ<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prie\u0161 metus pasirod\u017eiusi pirmoji j\u016bs\u0173 knyga \u201eGamtos terapija\u201c sulauk\u0117 did\u017eiulio d\u0117mesio. Tik\u0117jot\u0117s? Turb\u016bt vis dar sulaukiate reakcij\u0173?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Pats knygos atsiradimas, o v\u0117liau ir reakcija \u012f j\u0105 man buvo netik\u0117ta ir be galo d\u017eiuginanti. 2023 met\u0173 vasar\u0105 prad\u0117jau kurti tinklara\u0161t\u012f \u201eSaul\u0117s mi\u0161kas\u201c, po poros m\u0117nesi\u0173 gavau pasi\u016blym\u0105 ra\u0161yti knyg\u0105, o po to viskas rutuliojosi tarsi savaime. Kita vertus, ra\u0161yti man patiko nuo vaikyst\u0117s, o apie tai, kad noriu imtis knygos, artimiems draugams pastaraisiais metais ne kart\u0105 buvau prasitarusi. Netik\u0117ta buvo, kaip tai \u012fvyko ir kaip \u017emon\u0117s pri\u0117m\u0117 mano tekstus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reakcij\u0173 apie pirm\u0105 knyg\u0105 vis dar sulaukiu. Vienas netik\u0117\u010diausi\u0173 ir labiausiai sujaudinusi\u0173 dalyk\u0173 buvo tai, kad ra\u0161ytoja Vaiva Ryk\u0161tait\u0117 \u201eGamtos terapij\u0105\u201c pavadino lietuvi\u0161ku \u201eB\u0117gan\u010dios su vilkais\u201c variantu. \u0160i\u0105 Clarissos Pinkolos Estes knyg\u0105 skai\u010diau prie\u0161 por\u0105 de\u0161imtme\u010di\u0173 ir pamenu, kaip, vakare prad\u0117jusi skaityti, vis\u0105 nakt\u012f negal\u0117jau paleisti i\u0161 rank\u0173, kartkart\u0117mis pagalvodama, kad kit\u0105 dien\u0105 ka\u017ekaip reik\u0117s dirbti. Labai d\u017eiaugiuosi, jeigu savo tekstais galiu bent truput\u012f pad\u0117ti susisiekti su m\u016bs\u0173 ma\u017eiau civilizuot\u0173, ta\u010diau daug stipresn\u012f ry\u0161\u012f su gamta, o kartu ir su realybe tur\u0117jusi\u0173 prot\u0117vi\u0173 stiprybe ir i\u0161mintimi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ir \u0161tai po met\u0173 pasirodo antroji j\u016bs\u0173 knyga \u201ePrierai\u0161umo paradoksai\u201c. Kod\u0117l nusprend\u0117te kalb\u0117ti prierai\u0161umo tema? Atrodo, kad \u0161iandien ji viena \u201ekar\u0161t\u0173j\u0173\u201c tem\u0173.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Prierai\u0161umo tema vis gr\u012f\u017eta. Psichologijoje, kaip ir kitose srityse, egzistuoja mados. Turb\u016bt galima sakyti, kad \u0161iuo metu madinga \u017evelgti \u012f psichologinius rei\u0161kinius per prierai\u0161umo prizm\u0119. Kita vertus, tai i\u0161 ties\u0173 svarbi tema, nes ai\u0161kiai \u017einoma, kad \u017emogaus smegenys vystosi ir formuojasi mezgant ir puosel\u0117jant santykius. Ypa\u010d intensyviai tai vyksta vaikyst\u0117je, ta\u010diau santykiai mus formuoja vis\u0105 gyvenim\u0105.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0160i tema man \u012fdomi ir asmeni\u0161kai, nes b\u016bdama septyneri\u0173, patyriau brangaus \u017emogaus \u017e\u016bt\u012f ir ilgai nesupratau, kaip stipriai mane paveik\u0117 \u0161is ankstyvas ir visi\u0161kai netik\u0117tas susid\u016brimas su mirtimi. Apie prierai\u0161um\u0105 svarbu ir prasminga kalb\u0117ti ir tod\u0117l, kad mes, vakar\u0173 pasaulio \u017emon\u0117s, ry\u0161iams apskritai skiriame per ma\u017eai laiko ir d\u0117mesio. Mums nat\u016bralesnis buvimas su telefonu, nei su kitu \u017emogumi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kokie tie prierai\u0161umo paradoksai? Apie k\u0105 labiausiai nor\u0117josi kalb\u0117ti knygoje?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Turb\u016bt labiausiai nor\u0117jau pasakyti, kad kurdami prierai\u0161umu gr\u012fstus santykius turime i\u0161mokti priimti, derinti ir toleruoti prie\u0161ybes. Pavyzd\u017eiui, vienas did\u017eiausi\u0173 paradoks\u0173, kad sveiki ir artimi suaugusi\u0173 \u017emoni\u0173 santykiai yra gr\u012fsti ir \u012fsipareigojimu, ir laisve. \u017dmon\u0117s pasirenka b\u016bti kartu, o ne yra priversti. D\u0117l to bene sunkiausia artimus santykius kurti tiems, kurie labiausiai j\u0173 trok\u0161ta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tam, kad sukurtume stabil\u0173 ir sveik\u0105 ry\u0161\u012f su kitu suaugusiuoju, pirmiausiai turime puosel\u0117ti ger\u0105 ry\u0161\u012f su savimi. Bet juk da\u017enai galvojame prie\u0161ingai \u2013 kai mane kas nors pamils, tada ir a\u0161 save myl\u0117siu, priimsiu, jausiuosi vertingas. Kol nesuvokiame, kad \u010dia irgi slypi paradoksas, galime ilgai kankintis, pykti ar jaustis gyvenimo skriaud\u017eiami. Vis\u0173 pirma mums reikia myl\u0117ti, gerbti ir priimti save.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0160iandien tiek daug kalbama apie santyki\u0173 problemas, kad, atrodo, visi turime prierai\u0161umo problem\u0173. Kaip suprasti, kad m\u016bs\u0173 problemas ir i\u0161gyvenimus nul\u0117m\u0117 ry\u0161iai su kitais?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Nemany\u010diau, kad visi \u017emon\u0117s turi prierai\u0161umo problem\u0173. Dalis \u017emoni\u0173 auga patirdami saug\u0173 prierai\u0161um\u0105 ir geba kurti tokius ry\u0161ius su kitais \u017emon\u0117mis. \u010cia slypi dar vienas paradoksas: kuo saugesnius ry\u0161ius \u017emogus patyr\u0117 augdamas, tuo adekva\u010diau jis suvokia save, kitus ir tarpusavio santykius. Jei augdami nepatyr\u0117me saugaus prierai\u0161umo, gali tekti nema\u017eai padirb\u0117ti, kad prad\u0117tume suprasti, pavyzd\u017eiui, jog mumis kas nors subtiliai manipuliuoja. Da\u017enai i\u0161 \u0161alies pastebime, kad koks nors \u017emogus yra lyg marionet\u0117 kito rankose, ta\u010diau pats \u017emogus to visi\u0161kai nesuvokia. Kai \u017emogus ima suvokti, prasideda kelias \u012f laisv\u0119.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0160iandien labai vertiname individualizm\u0105. Da\u017enai stiprus \u017emogus mums atrodo tas, kuris visk\u0105 gali pats, yra nepriklausomas. Kod\u0117l bandome parodyti, kad mums nereikia kit\u0173, neverta prisiri\u0161ti, bet kartu jau\u010diam\u0117s tokie vieni\u0161i?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Visi greitai perprantame, kas m\u016bs\u0173 visuomen\u0117je vertinama, koks \u017emogus laikomas stipriu ir geru, tad stengiam\u0117s tokie b\u016bti. Kuo labiau vaikyst\u0117je jaut\u0117m\u0117s nemylimi, nebranginami, ne\u012fdom\u016bs ar net nereikalingi, tik\u0117tina, kad tuo labiau nor\u0117sis atrodyti \u0161auniems, siekti pagarbos ar pripa\u017einimo. Kartais d\u0117l to labai nutolstame nuo sav\u0119s. Li\u016bdniausia, kad kartais net nesuvokiame, jog apsimetin\u0117jame. Daliai \u017emoni\u0173 pavyksta taip giliai nugr\u016bsti vieni\u0161umo ir beprasmyb\u0117s jausmus, kad \u0161ie pasl\u0117pti gali ki\u016btoti de\u0161imtme\u010dius.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dabar madinga sakyti, kad daug k\u0105 atsine\u0161ame i\u0161 vaikyst\u0117s, ir ie\u0161koti problem\u0173 vaikyst\u0117je. Kita vertus jau tapo madinga ir pasijuokti i\u0161 to knaisiojimosi po vaikyst\u0119. Ar tikrai visos m\u016bs\u0173 prierai\u0161umo problemos slypi b\u016btent vaikyst\u0117je?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Taip, \u0161aknys da\u017eniausiai slypi vaikyst\u0117je, nes b\u016btent tuomet intensyviausiai formuojasi m\u016bs\u0173 smegenys. Pirmaisiais gyvenimo metais smegenyse nutiesiami pagrindiniai \u201egreitkeliai\u201c \u2013 svarbiausi neuroniniai takai. Man atrodo, kartais pasijuokiame i\u0161 t\u0173 knaisiojim\u0173si po vaikyst\u0119, nes m\u016bs\u0173 visuomen\u0117 taip vertina jud\u0117jim\u0105 pirmyn, progres\u0105, o \u010dia ka\u017ekas knaisiojasi praeityje.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ai\u0161ku, taip besiknaisiodami galime ir u\u017estrigti. Jeigu tiesiog nuolat neigiamai m\u0105stome ir kalbame apie vaikyst\u0117je patirtus sunkumus, tai nepadeda. Galime penkiems skirtingiems psichologams papasakoti, kas mums kadaise nutiko, bet, jei pasakojame tik tam, kad pasisk\u0173stume, grei\u010diausiai tai niekur nenuves. M\u0105styti apie vaikyst\u0119 nepakanka. Jei norime gyti, mums b\u016btina v\u0117l pajausti vaikyst\u0117je patirtus jausmus: baim\u0119, siaub\u0105, li\u016bdes\u012f, g\u0117d\u0105 ar vieni\u0161um\u0105.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vienoje knygoje radau labai tiksli\u0105 mint\u012f: jei nuolat neigiamai m\u0105stome ir kalbame apie vaikyst\u0119, vadinasi, negalime paleisti vilties apie geresn\u0119 praeit\u012f. Kad ir kiek svajotume apie geresn\u0119 vaikyst\u0119, \u0161ios svajon\u0117s m\u016bs\u0173 emocini\u0173 \u017eaizd\u0173 nei\u0161gydys. Gyti padeda tik m\u016bs\u0173 auganti meil\u0117 tam vaikui, koks i\u0161 ties\u0173 buvome \u2013 galb\u016bt i\u0161sigand\u0119s, li\u016bdnas, nesuprastas, skriaud\u017eiamas ar i\u0161naudotas. O gal i\u0161dyk\u0119s ir sunkiai sustabdomas. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kalb\u0117dama apie prierai\u0161umo traumas, pasitelkiate\u00a0lietuvi\u0173 liaudies pasakas \u2013 \u201eEgl\u0119 \u017eal\u010di\u0173 karalien\u0119\u201c ar \u201eDvylik\u0105 broli\u0173 juodvarniais\u00a0lakstan\u010di\u0173\u201c. K\u0105 pasakos, mitologija pasako apie \u0161iuolaikin\u012f \u017emog\u0173 ir m\u016bs\u0173 prierai\u0161umo problemas? Ar tai rei\u0161kia, kad daug dalyk\u0173 atsine\u0161ame i\u0161 toli toli ir j\u0173 nepakeisime?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Pasakos ir mitai kupini tiek i\u0161orinio, tiek m\u016bs\u0173 vidinio pasaulio atspind\u017ei\u0173, tod\u0117l juos tyrin\u0117dami galime daug su\u017einoti apie save. I\u0161 esm\u0117s \u0161iuolaikinis \u017emogus ne taip stipriai skiriasi nuo prot\u0117vi\u0173. Bet labai skiriasi supratimas, kokia dalimi esame savo gyvenimo \u0161eimininkai. M\u016bs\u0173 prot\u0117viai daug galios atiduodavo \u012f kit\u0173 j\u0117g\u0173 rankas: Dievo arba diev\u0173, likimo ar laumi\u0173. Tuo tarpu mes labai da\u017enai ken\u010diame, nes per daug gali\u0173 priskiriame sau. Tuomet atrodo, kad emociniai sunkumai yra tik m\u016bs\u0173 problema, nes nesugebame j\u0173 i\u0161sispr\u0119sti. Kaltiname save, g\u0117dijam\u0117s ir kartais grimztame dar giliau.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kartais verta \u012f savo emocinius ypatumus pa\u017ei\u016br\u0117ti kaip \u012f jautresn\u012f skrand\u012f, kur\u012f paveld\u0117jome i\u0161 t\u0117vo ir senelio. Kai turime problem\u0173 su skrand\u017eiu, daugiau juo r\u016bpinam\u0117s, bet nesijau\u010diame \u201ebrokuoti\u201c. \u012evair\u016bs emociniai ypatumai, kaip ir jautresni skrand\u017eiai, keliauja i\u0161 kartos \u012f kart\u0105. Tad nem\u0117ginkime tapti tokie kaip kiti, ar ie\u0161koti, kas mus \u201ekart\u0105 ir visiems laikams\u201c suremontuos. Pla\u010diau pamat\u0119 kontekst\u0105, geriau atskiriame, kas yra esminiai m\u016bs\u0173 asmenyb\u0117s bruo\u017eai, kuri\u0173 nepakeisime, o kas \u2013 nuo m\u016bs\u0173 priklausantys dalykai, kuriuos galime keisti.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

8 i\u0161 10 \u2013 tiek jaun\u0173 \u017emoni\u0173 Lietuvoje jau\u010diasi vieni\u0161i. Tuo tarpu kaip vien\u0105 did\u017eiausi\u0173 vertybi\u0173 da\u017enai \u012fvardijame, kad esame nepriklausomi, laisvi ir sugebame neprisiri\u0161ti. Tad k\u0105 byloja \u0161is paradoksas? Apie m\u016bs\u0173 mezgamus ry\u0161ius k\u0105 tik pasirod\u017eiusioje knygoje \u201ePrierai\u0161umo paradoksai\u201c kalba patyrusi psicholog\u0117-psichoterapeut\u0117 Giedr\u0117 \u017dalyt\u0117. Prie\u0161 metus pasirod\u017eiusi specialist\u0117s knyga \u201eGamtos terapija\u201c sulauk\u0117 did\u017eiulio skaitytoj\u0173…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":34,"featured_media":15086,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[228],"tags":[2348,2706,2504,3093,23,2505,476],"class_list":["post-15085","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-knygos-lt-naujienos","tag-dalykine-literatura","tag-giedre-zalyte","tag-humanitariniai","tag-prieraisumo-paradoksai","tag-psichologija","tag-socialiniai-mokslai","tag-tyto-alba"],"yoast_head":"\n\u201ePrierai\u0161umo paradoks\u0173\u201c autor\u0117 G. \u017dalyt\u0117: ken\u010diame, nes priskiriame sau per daug gali\u0173 - Knygos.lt blogas<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u201ePrierai\u0161umo paradoks\u0173\u201c autor\u0117 G. \u017dalyt\u0117: ken\u010diame, nes priskiriame sau per daug gali\u0173. Skaityk lap\u0117s m\u0117lynak\u0117s u\u017era\u0161us ir su\u017einokite kar\u0161\u010diausias naujienas i\u0161 knyg\u0173 pasaulio.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.knygos.lt\/blogas\/prieraisumo-paradoksu-autore-g-zalyte-kenciame-nes-priskiriame-sau-per-daug-galiu\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"lt_LT\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\u201ePrierai\u0161umo paradoks\u0173\u201c autor\u0117 G. \u017dalyt\u0117: ken\u010diame, nes priskiriame sau per daug gali\u0173 - Knygos.lt blogas\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201ePrierai\u0161umo paradoks\u0173\u201c autor\u0117 G. \u017dalyt\u0117: ken\u010diame, nes priskiriame sau per daug gali\u0173. 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