{"id":14430,"date":"2024-04-18T11:23:32","date_gmt":"2024-04-18T08:23:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.knygos.lt\/blogas\/?p=14430"},"modified":"2024-04-18T11:23:33","modified_gmt":"2024-04-18T08:23:33","slug":"v-tapiniene-as-nekalta-jog-neturi-vaizduotes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.knygos.lt\/blogas\/v-tapiniene-as-nekalta-jog-neturi-vaizduotes\/","title":{"rendered":"V. Tapinien\u0117: \u201eA\u0161 nekalta, jog neturi vaizduot\u0117s\u201c"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Baland\u017eio 22 d., pirmadien\u012f, 18 val. Violeta Tapinien\u0117<\/a> kvie\u010dia \u012f knygos \u201eSusigr\u0105\u017einto laiko blyksniai<\/a>\u201c pristatym\u0105 Nacionalin\u0117je M. Ma\u017evydo bibliotekoje. Tai knyga geros eseistikos gerb\u0117jams \u2013 brand\u017eios, neeilin\u0117s asmenyb\u0117s mintys apie laik\u0105, likim\u0105, atmint\u012f, netekt\u012f, gyvenimo geism\u0105 ir lemties paradoksus.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Ne\u012ftik\u0117tina kelion\u0117 namo i\u0161 Sibiro ant mamos rank\u0173, gyvenimas be vietos ir besislapstant okupuotoje Lietuvoje, pirmieji namai, jaunyst\u0117, \u0161eima, turiningi metai mokykloje ir i\u0161ugdyta daugyb\u0117 laisv\u0173, m\u0105stan\u010di\u0173 \u017emoni\u0173 \u2013 apie tai su literat\u016brine meistryste V. Tapinien\u0117 pasakoja knygoje \u201eSusigr\u0105\u017einto laiko blyksniai\u201c. J\u016bs\u0173 d\u0117mesiui \u2013 knygos i\u0161trauka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Galvoju apie savo but\u0105. Galvojimas juokingas, \u017einoma. Tarsi nebetur\u0117\u010diau apie k\u0105 galvoti. Bet mano butas toks gra\u017eus. Gra\u017eiausias i\u0161 vis\u0173, kiek tik ma\u010diau. Gird\u0117jau, yra moter\u0173, kurios, pama\u010diusios kok\u012f nors labai gra\u017e\u0173 kito but\u0105 arba nam\u0105, sugr\u012f\u017eta \u012f savo tvirtov\u0119 ir atsigula ne pogulio, o kelet\u0105 dien\u0173 nesikelia i\u0161 lovos. Joms silpna, jos kar\u0161\u010diuoja. Skai\u010diau, kad \u0161itaip rei\u0161kiasi Florencijos sindromas. D\u0117l perteklinio gro\u017eio pajautimo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet \u010dia, \u017einokite, yra kitaip. Kai moterys pakyla, tai atsigula j\u0173 vyrai. Ir kelet\u0105 dien\u0173-nakt\u0173 neu\u017esimerkia \u2013 \u017ei\u016bri \u012f lubas. Jiems silpna, bet manau, kad d\u0117l visai kitoki\u0173 prie\u017eas\u010di\u0173.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Man nesvarbu. Nors\u2026 negal\u0117\u010diau taip sakyti. A\u0161 truput\u0117l\u012f jaudinuosi d\u0117l t\u0173 vyr\u0173 \u2013 juk jie neu\u017esimerkdami anks\u010diau u\u017e moteris akis u\u017emerkia\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Atsipra\u0161au. Prad\u0117jau kos\u0117ti ir negaliu ra\u0161yti. Turiu i\u0161gerti por\u0105 \u0161auk\u0161t\u0173 alijo\u0161iaus, kur\u012f prisitaisiau su medum. Tada prat\u0119siu apie savo but\u0105. Viskas gerai. Nepykite. L. T. nenusimin\u0119s. Jis \u017ei\u016bri \u201ePanoram\u0105\u201c.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tai va, kada antraisiais metais po vedyb\u0173 mes \u012fsik\u0117l\u0117me \u012f kooperatin\u012f butuk\u0105, ilgai ilgai dar rod\u0117si, kad \u010dia kiekvien\u0105 ryt\u0105 saul\u0117 teka du kartus. O kai pirmaisiais Nepriklausomyb\u0117s metais jau \u012fsik\u016br\u0117me antram auk\u0161te, pajutome, kad saul\u0117 teka \u010dia ne tik dukart per dien\u0105, bet \u010dia ji niekad ir nenusileid\u017eia. \u201e\u010cia visos valandos mums buvo geros\u2026\u201c \u010cia a\u0161 tur\u0117jau laisv\u0119 neklausyti sveiko proto balso, kiek galima da\u017eniau klausyt nesveiko\u2026 Visas dramas gal\u0117jau suvaidint \u0161io buto balkone pati viena. Be scenos, be \u017ei\u016brov\u0173 ir klausytoj\u0173. Ir man labai patiko ir tebepatinka tas teatras balkone. Kurio niekas (be man\u0119s) negali u\u017edaryti\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u010cia spintose n\u0117r prabangi\u0173 drabu\u017ei\u0173 (tiktai gra\u017e\u016bs!), papuo\u0161al\u0173 d\u0117\u017eut\u0117se n\u0117 vieno to vadinamojo mergai\u010di\u0173 draugo. Ir ne d\u0117l to, kad netur\u0117tum galimybi\u0173. U\u017etai kiek artim\u0173j\u0173 \u010dia nakvojo, baliavojo\u2026 Ir mokini\u0173. Atsimeni, Ingrida?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Knyg\u0173 lentynose \u010dia niekada nesn\u016bduriavo knygos. Ir miegamasis nedvelk\u0117 \u0160iaur\u0117s a\u0161igaliu. O ruden\u012f \u010dia nuo kadais sodinto ber\u017eo gelsv\u0117ja oras, ir magi\u0161kas jo ku\u017edesys kas vakar\u0105 \u012fs\u0117lina \u012f kambar\u012f pro nuolatos atvert\u0105 lang\u0105.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ir, kas keis\u010diausia, tik dabar \u010dia tu gali \u0161iek tiek susipa\u017einti su savim, pasi\u0173st velniop bent dal\u012f savo baimi\u0173.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gal \u012fdomu, kod\u0117l ra\u0161au apie t\u0105 savo but\u0105? Ogi tod\u0117l, kad vakar a\u0161 ir v\u0117l susitikau koleg\u0119 G. Vaistin\u0117j pirko krem\u0105. T\u0105, kuris vadinasi \u201eFilorga\u201c, kuris tave paver\u010dia \u0161vytin\u010dia. Kol vaistinink\u0117 man ie\u0161kojo pampers\u0173, L dyd\u017eio, galvojau, negi koleg\u0117 v\u0117lei to paties man\u0119s paklaus\u2026 I\u0161\u0117jome, kalb\u0117jom apie \u0161\u012f bei t\u0105, paklaus\u0117, kod\u0117l neperku \u201eFilorga\u201c. Sakau, naudoju grietin\u0117l\u0119, \u201eDvaro\u201c ar \u201eSenoli\u0173\u201c. Patikinu \u2013 tikrai. Ir pastebiu, kad patiki. Nors i\u0161 tikr\u0173j\u0173 tai naudoju \u201eMargarit\u0105\u201c, bet negi taip lengvai atskleisiu savo gro\u017eio paslapt\u012f? O jeigu atvirai, tai a\u0161 ir jums \u010dia neteisyb\u0119 para\u0161iau.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ir tik staiga gird\u017eiu! Jau tre\u010di\u0105 kart\u0105! Juk klaus\u0117 pernai to paties. Ir \u0161iemet liep\u0105.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Ar j\u016bs gyvenate dar tam pa\u010diam senam name? Tam blokiniam name?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u012esivaizduojat? Tre\u010di\u0105 kart\u0105? To paties? Ir man i\u0161kilo visoki\u0173 min\u010di\u0173\u2026 Gal \u017eino koki\u0105 paslapt\u012f apie \u0161ituos namus?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 O taip, \u2013 sakau, \u2013 gyvename ten pat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Kod\u0117l? \u2013 taip nuo\u0161ird\u017eiai nustemba.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Gyvenam d\u0117l \u0161irdies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Kaip d\u0117l \u0161irdies? \u2013 dabar jau ji sukl\u016bsta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet \u010dia akivaizd\u017eiai i\u0161 turgaus prilekia kita koleg\u0117 ir greita kalbe i\u0161beria: \u201eOi, Violetka, a\u0161 skaitau tave, taip faina, tik ne \u012fsivaizduoju, kaip tu taip gali\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 A\u0161 nekalta, \u2013 sakau, \u2013 jog neturi vaizduot\u0117s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Eik sau, bet taip gal nereik\u0117t\u0173, mano \u201epadr\u016b\u017ek\u0117s\u201c sako, kad jos taip niekad negal\u0117t\u0173\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Kaip taip? \u2013 nustebusi truput\u012f klausiu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Nu taip, kad b\u016bna i\u0161si\u017eioj\u0119s, kad tu dainuoji prie ligonio\u2026 Taip visk\u0105 vie\u0161ini\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dar viena moteris, galvojanti, kad mano viskas \u2013 tai tik tiek. Klausau ir i\u0161girstu:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Eik sau, a\u0161 \u0161itaip niekad nera\u0161y\u010diau\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u0161 patirties \u017einau, kad visos replikos \u201etaip nera\u0161y\u010diau\u201c, \u201eniekada taip nesireng\u010diau\u201c, \u201etaip nekalb\u0117\u010diau\u201c, \u201enes\u0117d\u0117\u010diau\u201c, \u201enesielg\u010diau\u201c slepia tik paprastut\u012f klausim\u0105 \u2013 kod\u0117l gi negali tu b\u016bt tokia kaip a\u0161?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gr\u012f\u017etu namo, o butas kvepia antaniniais obuoliais, beg\u0117di\u0161kai skleid\u017eiasi vazoje geltonos ro\u017e\u0117s. L. T., kuriam vis\u0105 sirgimo laik\u0105 viskas buvo tik gerai, man sako: \u201eDieve, kur taip u\u017etrukai?\u201c Galvoju apie t\u0105 jo kreipin\u012f. \u010cia jau nepasakysi \u201esmulkmena, bet maloni\u201c.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Baland\u017eio 22 d., pirmadien\u012f, 18 val. Violeta Tapinien\u0117 kvie\u010dia \u012f knygos \u201eSusigr\u0105\u017einto laiko blyksniai\u201c pristatym\u0105 Nacionalin\u0117je M. Ma\u017evydo bibliotekoje. Tai knyga geros eseistikos gerb\u0117jams \u2013 brand\u017eios, neeilin\u0117s asmenyb\u0117s mintys apie laik\u0105, likim\u0105, atmint\u012f, netekt\u012f, gyvenimo geism\u0105 ir lemties paradoksus. Ne\u012ftik\u0117tina kelion\u0117 namo i\u0161 Sibiro ant mamos rank\u0173, gyvenimas be vietos ir besislapstant okupuotoje Lietuvoje, pirmieji…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":34,"featured_media":14431,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[2397,2398,101,348,2785,476,2786],"class_list":["post-14430","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-naujienos","tag-drama","tag-ese","tag-grozine-literatura","tag-poezija","tag-susigrazinto-laiko-blyksniai","tag-tyto-alba","tag-violeta-tapiniene"],"yoast_head":"\nV. Tapinien\u0117: \u201eA\u0161 nekalta, jog neturi vaizduot\u0117s\u201c - Knygos.lt blogas<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"V. Tapinien\u0117: \u201eA\u0161 nekalta, jog neturi vaizduot\u0117s\u201c. 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