{"id":13993,"date":"2023-10-06T15:16:45","date_gmt":"2023-10-06T12:16:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.knygos.lt\/blogas\/?p=13993"},"modified":"2023-10-06T15:16:45","modified_gmt":"2023-10-06T12:16:45","slug":"knyga-paslapciu-psichologija-kviecia-i-paslaptis-pazvelgti-be-paslapciu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.knygos.lt\/blogas\/knyga-paslapciu-psichologija-kviecia-i-paslaptis-pazvelgti-be-paslapciu\/","title":{"rendered":"Knyga \u201ePaslap\u010di\u0173 psichologija\u201c kvie\u010dia \u012f paslaptis pa\u017evelgti be paslap\u010di\u0173"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Prisiminkite koki\u0105 nors savo paslapt\u012f. Netur\u0117t\u0173 b\u016bti sunku. Elgsenos ir paslap\u010di\u0173 psichologijos tyr\u0117jas Michael Slepianas<\/a> knygoje \u201ePaslap\u010di\u0173 psichologija<\/a>\u201c atskleid\u017eia, kad \u017emogus nuolat saugo ne vien\u0105, o vidutini\u0161kai net trylika paslap\u010di\u0173. Da\u017eniausios i\u0161 j\u0173 \u2013 melas, ambicijos, priklausomyb\u0117s, psichikos sveikatos problemos, slapti santykiai ir finansin\u0117s b\u0117dos.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Paslaptis gali baisiai sl\u0117gti, bet ne tod\u0117l, kad stengiam\u0117s nei\u0161siduoti. Ar saugome savo reputacij\u0105, santykius, ar tausojame artim\u0173j\u0173 jausmus, ar slepiame profesinius tikslus, ai\u0161ku viena \u2013 sl\u0117pdami dal\u012f vidinio gyvenimo jau\u010diam\u0117s vieni, apleisti ir prarandame dal\u012f sav\u0119s. O \u201ePaslap\u010di\u0173 psichologijos\u201c autorius sako, kad netur\u0117tume.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kada vaikai i\u0161siugdo geb\u0117jim\u0105 slapukauti? Ar visos paslaptys slegia vienodai? Kaip jas derinti su suprantamu noru bendrauti, megzti ry\u0161ius ir draugystes? Kada prisipa\u017einti ir kas gal\u0117t\u0173 b\u016bti tas patik\u0117tinis? Ar kai kurios paslaptys tikrai gerina savijaut\u0105? Nauj\u0173 \u012f\u017evalg\u0173 kupinoje M. Slepiano knygoje \u201ePaslap\u010di\u0173 psichologija\u201c knygoje rasite atsakymus \u012f daugel\u012f klausim\u0173.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kvie\u010diame skaityti knygos i\u0161trauk\u0105.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kopimas i\u0328 kalvas<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Vienais metais per s\u030cventini\u0328 vakare\u0307li\u0328 mudu su z\u030cmona prigesinome svetaine\u0307je s\u030cviesa\u0328 ir, nore\u0307dami sustiprinti jaukia\u0328 nuotaika\u0328, i\u0328junge\u0307me deganc\u030cio z\u030cidinio vaizdo i\u0328ras\u030ca\u0328. Internete ies\u030ckantiems tokiu\u0328 vaizdu\u0328 pasirinkimas milz\u030cinis\u030ckas, mu\u0304su\u0328 pasirinktasis buvo keliu\u0328 valandu\u0328 trukme\u0307s, netgi malkos spragse\u0307jo tikrovis\u030ckai. Keli vakare\u0307lio svec\u030ciai, nepriklausomai vienas nuo kito, teige\u0307, kad beveik juto nuo ekrano sklindanc\u030cia\u0328 ugnies s\u030ciluma\u0328. Taip buvo ne tode\u0307l, kad perkaito televizorius ar mu\u0304su\u0328 draugai buvo kaus\u030ctele\u0307je\u0328 ir susipainiojo. Kai sklinda oranz\u030cine\u0307 ir geltona s\u030cviesa, kai girdi spragsint malkas, ima atrodyti, kad jauti fizine\u0328 s\u030ciluma\u0328, tarsi se\u0307de\u0307tum prie tikro z\u030cidinio ar lauz\u030co.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Neurovizualiniais tyrimais nustatyta, kad poju\u0304c\u030cio i\u0328sivaizdavimas aktyvina tuos pac\u030cius neuronus, kurie siejami su tikru poju\u0304c\u030ciu. Tai paais\u030ckina ne tik z\u030cidinio iliuzija\u0328, bet ir kode\u0307l lengviau ka\u0328 nors i\u0328sivaizduoti uz\u030csimerkus, o ne atsimerkus. Kai stengiesi ka\u0328 nors i\u0328sivaizduoti, z\u030ciu\u0304re\u0307damas tik blas\u030ckai de\u0307mes\u012f, nes abiejuose procesuose dalyvauja tos pac\u030cios smegenu\u0328 sritys. Mano susidome\u0307jimas paslaptimis praside\u0307jo bu\u0304tent nuo s\u030cito. Remdamasis z\u030cidinio iliuzija (kai vakare\u0307lio dalyvius ape\u0307me\u0307 keistas s\u030cilumos poju\u0304tis, nors is\u030c tiesu\u0328 jos nebuvo) paklausiau save\u0328s: ar ma\u0328stydamas apie paslapti\u0328 gale\u0307tum pajusti fizine\u0328 nas\u030cta\u0328, de\u0307l kurios ir kiti dalykai ims atrodyti sude\u0307tingesni ir reikalaujantys daugiau pastang\u0173?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Z\u030cmone\u0307s keistai kalba apie paslaptis, daz\u030cnai sako, kad jauc\u030ciasi sunkiai jas pakeliantys ar ju\u0328 slegiami. Susidome\u0307je\u0328s s\u030cia fizine\u0307s nas\u030ctos metafora atlikau internetini\u0328 tyrima\u0328: atsitiktine tvarka grupei dalyviu\u0328 skyriau padaryti viena\u0328 is\u030c dvieju\u0328 dalyku\u0328. Vienos grupe\u0307s papras\u030ciau galvoti apie \u201edidele\u0328\u201c saugoma\u0328 paslapti\u0328, kitos grupe\u0307s \u2013 apie \u201emaz\u030ca\u0328\u201c. Paskui parode\u0307me jiems keleta\u0328 paveiksliuku\u0328 ir papras\u030ce\u0307me kuo tiksliau apibu\u0304dinti, ka\u0328 mato. Viename is\u030c ju\u0328 dalyviai mate\u0307 ves\u030clu\u0328 z\u030calia\u0328 parka\u0328, ir mes paklause\u0307me, kokia, ju\u0328 nuomone, ten temperatu\u0304ra. Bet is\u030c tiesu\u0328 mums ru\u0304pe\u0307jo kitas skaic\u030cius is\u030c atsakymu\u0328 i\u0328 antra\u0328 klausima\u0328. Mes rode\u0307me z\u030cole apaugusios kalvos vaizda\u0328 ir pras\u030ce\u0307me laipsniais i\u0328vertint s\u030claito statuma\u0328.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kai z\u030cmone\u0307s jauc\u030ciasi pavarge\u0328, pasaulis jiems atrodo sude\u0307tingesnis ir gre\u0307smingesnis, kalva \u2013 statesne\u0307, atstumas \u2013 didesnis. Tai ne apsirikimas, o z\u030cmogis\u030ckos suvokimo sistemos ypatybe\u0307. Z\u030cygyje, kai vos uz\u030ctenka je\u0307gu\u0328 uz\u030ckopti iki virs\u030cu\u0304ne\u0307s, nesinori skaic\u030ciuoti. I\u0328vertine\u0328 s\u030claito statuma\u0328 \u2013 o kartu ir pastangas, reikalingas juo kopti, \u2013 susilaikysime nuo pernelyg ambicingu\u0328 pasilaipiojimu\u0328. Bu\u0304tent taip nutiko mu\u0304su\u0328 tyrimo dalyviams, kaip ir daugeliui z\u030cmoniu\u0328 pries\u030c juos. Jie i\u0328vertino, kad kalva statesne\u0307 (is\u030c pries\u030cakio pavaizduotos kalvos maz\u030cdaug 25 laipsniu\u0328 nuolydi\u0328 i\u0328vertino kaip 40 laipsniu\u0328). Tac\u030ciau dalyviai, galvoje\u0328 apie dideles paslaptis, nutare\u0307, kad kalva gerokai statesne\u0307. Aplinkini\u0328 pasauli\u0328 vertino taip, lyg bu\u0304tu\u0328 nes\u030ce\u0328 didesne\u0328 nas\u030cta\u0328.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pries\u030c puldami ies\u030ckoti matlankio, z\u030cinokite, kad kalvos statumo suvokimas svarbus tik tuo, jog atspindi poju\u0304ti\u0328, kad is\u030corinis pasaulis kelia daug is\u030cs\u030cu\u0304kiu\u0328. Per kita\u0328 tyrima\u0328 tai is\u030cmatavome tiesiogiai. Surinkome z\u030cmones, turinc\u030cius partnerius, s\u030ciek tiek paklausine\u0307jome apie ju\u0328 santykius, o tada priblos\u030cke\u0307me svarbiausiu klausimu: ar kada nors buvote neis\u030ctikimi? Jeigu dalyviai atsakydavo teigiamai, klausdavome, ar daz\u030cnai ma\u0328sto apie neis\u030ctikimybe\u0328, kitaip sakant, ar daz\u030cnai ji kelia jiems nerima\u0328. Paskui klause\u0307me, ar daug pastangu\u0328 pareikalautu\u0328 i\u0328vairios uz\u030cduotys: uz\u030cnes\u030cti maisto produktus laiptais, pavedz\u030cioti s\u030cuni\u0328, pade\u0307ti kam nors
persikraustyti. Kuo labiau dalyviai buvo susiru\u0304pine\u0328 de\u0307l savo neis\u030ctikimybe\u0307s, tuo sude\u0307tingesne\u0307s jiems atrode\u0307 s\u030cios uz\u030cduotys.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Uz\u030c tai, kad vakare\u0307lio svec\u030ciai jaute\u0307 netikros ugnies s\u030ciluma\u0328, buvo atsakinga smegenu\u0328 suvokimo sistema: ji jiems s\u030cnibz\u030cde\u0307jo s\u030cilta. S\u030ci\u0328kart tyrimo dalyviai ma\u0328ste\u0307 apie savo neis\u030ctikimybe\u0307s paslapti\u0328 ir kitos uz\u030cduotys jiems atrode\u0307 sude\u0307tingesne\u0307s, uz\u030c tai taip pat buvo atsakinga suvokimo sistema: ji s\u030cnibz\u030cde\u0307jo sunku.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Turbu\u0304t ties tuo ir bu\u0304c\u030ciau liove\u0328sis tyrine\u0307ti paslaptis, jeigu ne vienas dalykas. Kalvos eksperimenta\u0328 pakartojo kita tyre\u0307ju\u0328 komanda ir rezultatai nesutapo: nuolydz\u030cio vertinimas galvojant apie \u201edideles\u201c ir \u201emaz\u030cas\u201c paslaptis skyre\u0307si ne visada. Taigi gri\u0328z\u030cau i\u0328 laboratorija\u0328 ies\u030ckoti, ka\u0328 padare\u0307me blogai. Staiga anoniminio recenzento klausima\u0328 perskaic\u030ciau visai kitomis akimis: Kai tyre\u0307jai papras\u030ce\u0307 dalyviu\u0328 galvoti apie paslapti\u0328 \u2013 ir abiejuose pras\u030cymuose skyre\u0307si tik vienas z\u030codis, \u2013 ka\u0328 is\u030c tikru\u0328ju\u0328 ture\u0307jo omeny sakydami \u201edidele\u0307\u201c ir \u201emaz\u030ca\u201c paslaptis? Paskui pridu\u0304re\u0307: \u201edidele\u0307s paslaptys\u201c nebu\u0304tinai turi bu\u0304ti \u201eslegianc\u030cios\u201c.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Po keleriu\u0328 metu\u0328 i\u0328sitikinau, kad jis buvo teisus. Kartodami pradini\u0328 eksperimenta\u0328 is\u030ctikimybe\u0328 sulauz\u030ciusiu\u0328 dalyviu\u0328 paklause\u0307me, ar dideli\u0328 ru\u0304pesti\u0328 jiems kelia ju\u0328 paslaptys (kaip tiems neis\u030ctikimiems dalyviams). Dalyviai, kurie galvojo apie \u201edideles\u201c paslaptis, sake\u0307 s\u030ciek tiek labiau nerimaujantys de\u0307l savo paslapc\u030ciu\u0328, palyginti su dalyviais, kurie ma\u0328ste\u0307 apie \u201emaz\u030cas\u201c paslaptis, vis de\u0307lto paais\u030cke\u0307jo, kad paslapc\u030ciu\u0328 \u201edydis\u201c ne\u0307ra svarbiausias. Veikiau kuo labiau dalyviai nerimavo de\u0307l savo paslapties, tuo statesne\u0307 kalva jiems atrode\u0307.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pagalvokite apie paslapti\u0328, apie kuria\u0328 papasakojau pratarme\u0307je, \u2013 pagal dauguma\u0328 standartu\u0328 \u201eAs\u030c nesu tavo biologinis te\u0307vas\u201c yra didele\u0307 paslaptis. Bet nes\u030ciotis s\u030cia\u0328 paslapti\u0328 mano te\u0307vams ne visada buvo sunku. Daz\u030cniausiai jie apie ja\u0328 ne\u0307 negalvodavo. Retsykiais s\u030ci tema is\u030ckildavo, pavyzdz\u030ciui, nes z\u030cmone\u0307s atkreipdavo de\u0307mesi\u0328, kad brolis panas\u030cus i\u0328 te\u0307va\u0328, o as\u030c i\u0328 motina\u0328, tada jie negale\u0307jo paslapties nepaisyti. Su vaiku\u0328 susilaukusiais te\u0307vais i\u0328prasta kalbe\u0307ti, kad vaikai panas\u030cu\u0304s i\u0328 juos, tad anksc\u030ciau paslaptis juos sle\u0307ge\u0307 labiau. Bet, pasak ju\u0328, ilgainiui toji nas\u030cta lengve\u0307jo, uz\u030cguldavo tik retsykiais, kai nutikdavo kas nors ypatingo ir ve\u0307l primindavo paslapti\u0328. Ji visada buvo ta pati \u201edidele\u0307\u201c paslaptis, bet ne visada verte\u0307 nerimauti. Kaip matysime, s\u030citas skirtumas yra svarbus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Atlikome kalvos eksperimenta\u0328 dar karta\u0328 ir vienos dalyviu\u0328 grupe\u0307s papras\u030ce\u0307me galvoti apie paslapti\u0328, kuri juos neramina. Kaip ir numane\u0307me, tie dalyviai daz\u030cniau sake\u0307, kad kalva statesne\u0307, nei tie, kuriu\u0328 pras\u030ce\u0307me galvoti apie nerimo nekelianc\u030cia\u0328 paslapti\u0328. Viska\u0328 sude\u0307jus s\u030cie tyrimai leidz\u030cia teigti, kad paslaptis, vertinama kaip \u201edidele\u0307\u201c, nebu\u0304tinai slegia, psichologis\u030ckai sunkiausios yra paslaptys, kurios nuolat sukasi mu\u0304su\u0328 mintyse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kuo daz\u030cniau dalyviai susima\u0328stydavo apie savo paslaptis, tuo labiau mintys apie tas paslaptis buvo siejamos su sunkumo poju\u0304c\u030ciu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet per s\u030ciuos tyrimus niekas nieko nesle\u0307pe\u0307. Nebuvo kito z\u030cmogaus, kuris uz\u030cdavine\u0307tu\u0328 klausimus, juo labiau tokius, po kuriu\u0328 dalyviams bu\u0304tu\u0328 sunku is\u030claikyti paslapti\u0328. Ir vis de\u0307lto, visai kaip Tonis Sopranas ir Edwardas Snowdenas, dalyviai jaute\u0307 paslapc\u030ciu\u0328 nas\u030cta\u0328 net apie jas neklausine\u0307jami.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Prisiminkite koki\u0105 nors savo paslapt\u012f. Netur\u0117t\u0173 b\u016bti sunku. Elgsenos ir paslap\u010di\u0173 psichologijos tyr\u0117jas Michael Slepianas knygoje \u201ePaslap\u010di\u0173 psichologija\u201c atskleid\u017eia, kad \u017emogus nuolat saugo ne vien\u0105, o vidutini\u0161kai net trylika paslap\u010di\u0173. Da\u017eniausios i\u0161 j\u0173 \u2013 melas, ambicijos, priklausomyb\u0117s, psichikos sveikatos problemos, slapti santykiai ir finansin\u0117s b\u0117dos. Paslaptis gali baisiai sl\u0117gti, bet ne tod\u0117l, kad stengiam\u0117s nei\u0161siduoti.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":34,"featured_media":13994,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[203,2541,2542,2319,476],"class_list":["post-13993","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-naujienos","tag-asmenybes-tobulinimas","tag-michael-slepian","tag-paslapciu-psichologija","tag-populiarioji-psichologija","tag-tyto-alba"],"yoast_head":"\nKnyga \u201ePaslap\u010di\u0173 psichologija\u201c kvie\u010dia \u012f paslaptis pa\u017evelgti be paslap\u010di\u0173 - Knygos.lt blogas<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Knyga \u201ePaslap\u010di\u0173 psichologija\u201c kvie\u010dia \u012f paslaptis pa\u017evelgti be paslap\u010di\u0173. 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