{"id":13084,"date":"2023-02-08T15:52:50","date_gmt":"2023-02-08T13:52:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.knygos.lt\/blogas\/?p=13084"},"modified":"2023-02-08T15:52:51","modified_gmt":"2023-02-08T13:52:51","slug":"i-knygu-muge-atvykstantis-psichologas-ch-andre-nelaimes-gyvenimo-nuomos-mokestis-privalome-ji-moketi-nesinervindami","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.knygos.lt\/blogas\/i-knygu-muge-atvykstantis-psichologas-ch-andre-nelaimes-gyvenimo-nuomos-mokestis-privalome-ji-moketi-nesinervindami\/","title":{"rendered":"\u012e Knyg\u0173 mug\u0119 atvykstantis psichologas Ch. Andr\u00e9: \u201eNelaim\u0117s \u2013 gyvenimo nuomos mokestis, privalome j\u012f mok\u0117ti nesinervindami\u201c"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201eSusiduriant su visuotin\u0117mis negandomis, kaip karas ar pandemija, i\u0161gyventi padeda tarpusavio paguoda, palaikymas ir vienyb\u0117\u201c, \u2013 sako \u017einomas pranc\u016bz\u0173 psichologas ir psichoterapeutas Christophe Andr\u00e9<\/a>, \u0161i\u0173 met\u0173 Vilniaus knyg\u0173 mug\u0117s sve\u010dias. Vasario 25 d., \u0161e\u0161tadien\u012f, 12 val. 5.1 sal\u0117je Ch. Andr\u00e9 pristatys naujausi\u0105 lietuvi\u0161kai pasirod\u017eiusi\u0105 knyg\u0105 \u201ePaguoda<\/a>\u201c. Autori\u0173 kalbins \u017eurnalistas Valdas Puteikis.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u201ePasteb\u0117jau, kad skirtingose \u0161alyse mano knygas ir id\u0117jas priima labai skirtingai. Nuo Ispanijos iki Japonijos \u2013 \u017emon\u0117s u\u017eduoda skirtingus klausimus, tad labai laukiu Lietuvos skaitytoj\u0173 reakcij\u0173\u201c, \u2013 pastebi Knyg\u0173 mug\u0117s sve\u010dias.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kod\u0117l paguoda reikalinga ne tik susiduriant su sunkiais i\u0161gyvenimais? Kokiais b\u016bdais paguosti save, kad neu\u017evaldyt\u0173 kan\u010di\u0105 lydintys baim\u0117s, pyk\u010dio, pavydo jausmai? Kaip i\u0161b\u016bti su ken\u010dian\u010diu \u017emogumi ir laiku atrasti jo skausm\u0105 mal\u0161inan\u010dius \u017eod\u017eius? Kod\u0117l kartais taip sunku leistis guod\u017eiamiems? Ir ar verta tik\u0117ti, kad visos m\u016bs\u0173 nelaim\u0117s turi prasm\u0119? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Geriausiai Ch. Andr\u00e9 Lietuvos skaitytojams pa\u017e\u012fstamas kaip knygos \u201eNetobuli, laisvi ir laimingi\u201c, kurios tira\u017eai nuolat kartojami, autorius. \u201ePaguoda\u201c \u2013 \u0161e\u0161toji \u017einomo psichologo knyga lietuvi\u0173 kalba, j\u0105 vert\u0117 Akvil\u0117 Melk\u016bnait\u0117. Belaukiant renginio Knyg\u0173 mug\u0117je, \u201ePaguod\u0105\u201c su Ch. Andr\u00e9 varto Guoda Kavaliauskait\u0117.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kam pirmiausia skiriate knyg\u0105 \u201ePaguoda\u201c?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Knyga skirta artimai draugei Edithai, kuriai, kai ra\u0161iau, reik\u0117jo stiprios paguodos. \u017dvelgiant pla\u010diau, skiriu \u0161i\u0105 knyg\u0105 visiems artimiesiems, kuri\u0173 pats gyvenime deramai nepaguod\u017eiau. Manau, kad buvau tinkamas gydytojas ir gerai guod\u017eiau savo pacientus, bet asmeniniame gyvenime buvau varganas guod\u0117jas. Kai ken\u010dia labai artimas \u017emogus, mano empatija per stipri ir mane tiesiog u\u017elieja \u0161irdg\u0117la.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Knygos prad\u017eioje dalijat\u0117s jautriu lai\u0161ku per teroristin\u012f i\u0161puol\u012f Pranc\u016bzijoje dukros netekusiai mamai: \u201eAs\u030c nez\u030cinau, ar mes gale\u0307sim Jus paguosti\u201c. Ar per ilgamet\u0119 profesin\u0119 praktik\u0105 susid\u016br\u0117te su situacijomis, kai atrod\u0117, kad paguosti ne\u012fmanoma?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\u0160\u012f sakin\u012f ra\u0161iau mamai, nes netek\u0119s vaiko \u017emogus da\u017enai lieka nepaguod\u017eiamas. O dar ir d\u0117lto, kad visais atvejais paguoda retai duoda vaisi\u0173 i\u0161 karto. Verta tai suprasti ir kartais net pasakyti: ne\u017einau, ar man pavyks palengvinti tavo skausm\u0105, bet \u0161iuo metu noriu b\u016bti \u0161alia. I\u0161 esm\u0117s, paguoda visada b\u016btina ir visada nepakankama. Reikia priimti \u0161\u012f paguodos nepakankamum\u0105 tam, kad patys nenusiviltume.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daugelis paguod\u0105 \u012fsivaizduojame kaip \u017eod\u012f ar veiksm\u0105, kuris tur\u0117t\u0173 suteikti stipryb\u0117s sunki\u0105 valand\u0105. Knygoje ra\u0161ote apie tai, kad atradote paguod\u0105, kuri yra daug daugiau negu laikinas nuraminimas. Ji yra b\u016bdas gyventi su audromis, atrasti ry\u0161\u012f su pasauliu, jo gro\u017eyb\u0117mis ir nelaim\u0117mis. Ar \u012fmanoma i\u0161mokti geriau priimti ir teikti paguod\u0105?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Yra du paguodos etapai. Paguoda yra tai, kas \u017emogui padeda i\u0161tverti tuo sunkiu metu, nesijausti apleistam ir nepulti \u012f nevilt\u012f. Antras etapas ateina v\u0117liau, kai \u017emogus v\u0117l \u012fsilieja \u012f gyvenim\u0105. Paguoda pama\u017eu artina mus prie egzistencinio pri\u0117mimo filosofijos. Turiu galvoje, kad mes priimame esmines gyvenimo tiesas, suprantame, kad \u017emogaus gyvenime nelaim\u0117s nei\u0161vengiamos, kad jos yra savoti\u0161kas gyvenimo nuomos mokestis. Ir privalome j\u012f mok\u0117ti nesinervindami. Turime neatsisakyti matyti gyvenimo gro\u017e\u012f. Nepaisant nieko.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u017dmon\u0117s spontani\u0161kai link\u0119 guosti \u2013 vieni labiau, o kiti ma\u017eiau. Da\u017enai kli\u016btimi tampa m\u016bs\u0173 pa\u010di\u0173 patiriamos stiprios emocijos (b\u016bname sukr\u0117sti kito kan\u010dios) arba per didelis drovumas ir baim\u0117, kad nemok\u0117sime paguosti. \u017dmon\u0117s, kurie geba gerai paguosti (arba yra to i\u0161mok\u0119), nebijo jausti skausmo ir k\u0105 nors padaryti nemok\u0161i\u0161kai. J\u0173 tikslas \u2013 ne sustabdyti a\u0161aras ar \u0161irdg\u0117l\u0105, o b\u016bti \u0161alia, nors patys tuo metu lieja a\u0161aras ar jau\u010dia \u0161irdg\u0117l\u0105.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u012eprasta galvoti, kad paguodos reikia tik tiems, kurie susid\u016br\u0117 su itin skaud\u017eiais i\u0161gyvenimais \u2013 netektimis, nepagydomomis ligomis. Ta\u010diau paguoda turb\u016bt labai svarbi ir ni\u016broje kasdienyb\u0117je, ypa\u010d pastaraisiais metais, kai susiduriame su karu, pandemija, klimato at\u0161ilimo padariniais?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Paguoda n\u0117ra konkre\u010di\u0173 i\u0161ei\u010di\u0173 ie\u0161kojimas. Tai buvimas \u0161alia ir draugi\u0161kumo i\u0161rei\u0161kimas ken\u010dian\u010diam \u017emogui. Nors m\u016bs\u0173 guodimo b\u016bdai ir skiriasi, nelygu ar guosime artim\u0105 (apkabinsim), ar ma\u017eiau pa\u017e\u012fstam\u0105 \u017emog\u0173 (apsiribojam \u0161iltais \u017eod\u017eiais), i\u0161 esm\u0117s, paguoda beveik nesiskiria. O tos situacijos, kurias j\u016bs minite (pandemija, karas, klimato at\u0161ilimas), yra visuotin\u0117s negandos, paveikusios visus \u017emones, tad jos kvie\u010dia imtis tarpusavio paguodos, palaikymo ir vienyb\u0117s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Da\u017enai girdime fraz\u0119 \u201eIr tai praeis\u201c, kuri tur\u0117t\u0173 suteikti vilt\u012f, kad net patys sunkiausi i\u0161gyvenimai netrunka am\u017einyb\u0119. Ta\u010diau sunki\u0105 valand\u0105 skausmas yra didesnis u\u017e visk\u0105 ir atrodo, kad taip bus vis\u0105 likus\u012f gyvenim\u0105. Kaip i\u0161b\u016bti su skausmu, j\u012f i\u0161gyventi ir i\u0161 jo pasimokyti?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Paguodos fraz\u0117s, nors b\u016bna teisingos ir nuo\u0161ird\u017eios, da\u017enai n\u0117 kiek nepadeda. \u0160iaip ar taip, nelaim\u0117s akimirk\u0105 \u0161irdg\u0117la visada b\u016bna stipresn\u0117. U\u017euot \u012ftikin\u0117jus argumentais, kad ir protingais, ver\u010diau suteikti \u0161velnumo, parodyti, kad esam \u0161alia ir palaikom ken\u010diant\u012f, kad patys pasitikime gyvenimu. Deja, tokiomis akimirkomis skausmo nemal\u0161ina joks argumentas, jokia filosofija: toliau gyventi mus paskatina tai, kad jau\u010diam\u0117s mylimi ir kad galb\u016bt pats gyvenimas ateis mums pad\u0117ti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sakote, kad t\u0105 akimirk\u0105, kai guod\u017eiame, ne\u017einome kaip pasikeis pad\u0117tis. Kokiais pagrindiniais principais der\u0117t\u0173 vadovautis teikiant paguod\u0105? Ar u\u017etenka tik nuo\u0161irdumo ir kilni\u0173 ketinim\u0173?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Nuo\u0161irdumas ir geri ketinimai svarbu. Ta\u010diau taip pat svarbu ir priimti tai, kad paguodos rezultatai (\u201eAr truput\u012f palengvinsiu \u0161irdg\u0117l\u0105?\u201c) ir pad\u0117ties pasekm\u0117s (\u201eAr \u0161i nelaim\u0117 praeis?\u201c) nuo m\u016bs\u0173 nepriklauso. Kai guodi, esi nuolankus ir atsargus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ar paguoda, nemokant jos teikti, gali b\u016bti \u017ealinga?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Manau, kad blogiausias dalykas \u2013 paguodos stygius. Blogiausia jaustis paliktam ir apleistam. Nemok\u0161i\u0161kumas, \u017einoma, da\u017enas dalykas, jis gali suerzinti, bet bent jau past\u016bm\u0117ja \u017emog\u0173 reaguoti, v\u0117l \u012flieja gyvyb\u0117s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Skaud\u017eiose gyvenimo patirtyse neretai kyla noras u\u017esidaryti, nepra\u0161yti pagalbos ir i\u0161b\u016bti patiems. Kaip tokioje situacijoje elgtis tiems, kurie yra \u0161alia ir nori paguosti?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Svarbu gerbti kai kuri\u0173 \u017emoni\u0173 poreik\u012f vieniems i\u0161gyventi \u0161irdg\u0117l\u0105. Tokiais atvejais reikia tik parodyti, kad esam \u0161alia, pasakyti, kad esam pasireng\u0119 pad\u0117ti ir reguliariai \u017emog\u0173 pakalbinti, palaikyti su juo ry\u0161\u012f.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ar galime i\u0161mokti praktikuoti ne tik paguod\u0105, bet ir saviguod\u0105? Kokius kasdienius pratimus rekomenduotum\u0117te tiems, kurie nori lavinti \u0161\u012f geb\u0117jim\u0105?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Dauguma m\u016bs\u0173 \u017eino, kas mums padeda, kai patiriame \u0161irdg\u0117l\u0105: pasivaik\u0161\u010diojimas gamtoje, muzikos klausymas ar atlikimas, skaitymas, u\u017esimir\u0161imas veikloje, kuri visi\u0161kai \u012ftraukia, tarkim, sodininkyst\u0117, meistravimas ir pan. Saviguoda yra sprendimas gr\u012f\u017eti \u012f gyvenim\u0105 nepaisant to, kad \u0161irdyje ne\u0161am\u0117s \u0161irdg\u0117l\u0105.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Knygoje da\u017enai minite, kad gyvenimas \u2013 nuolatin\u0117s paguodos paie\u0161kos. Ar pakeit\u0119 po\u017ei\u016br\u012f \u012f kasdienyb\u0119, galime pakeisti ir \u0161\u012f santyk\u012f?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Mes negalim apsieiti be paguodos, nes gyvenimas yra su\u017eeidim\u0173 ir nelaimi\u0173 virtin\u0117 (laimei, ir laim\u0117s akimirk\u0173!). U\u017euot band\u017eius nuslopinti paguodos poreik\u012f, ver\u010diau atvira \u0161irdimi priimti mums teikiam\u0105 palaikym\u0105 tada, kai i\u0161tinka nes\u0117km\u0117, liga ar gedulas. Taip pat patiems imtis saviguodos, apie kuri\u0105 kalb\u0117jom: neleisti sau grimzti \u012f nevilt\u012f, kart\u0117l\u012f, v\u0117l keltis gyventi, nors \u0161irdyje ir jau\u010diame li\u016bdes\u012f.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be to, reikia suprasti, kad \u017emogaus gyvenime yra ciklai \u2013 nelaim\u0117 pasirenka kit\u0105 taikin\u012f, \u017emogui, kuris \u0161iandien guod\u017eia, rytoj pa\u010diam reik\u0117s paguodos. Tai ver\u010dia atvira \u0161irdimi dalyvauti cikluose duoti ir priimti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vasar\u012f vie\u0161\u0117site did\u017eiausiame knyg\u0173 renginyje Lietuvoje \u2013 Vilniaus knyg\u0173 mug\u0117je. Ko tik\u0117tis j\u016bs\u0173 skaitytojams ir ko j\u016bs tikit\u0117s i\u0161 susitikimo?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Labai d\u017eiaugiuosi, kad susipa\u017einsiu su Lietuva ir savo skaitytojomis bei skaitytojais \u0161ioje \u0161alyje. Tikiuosi, kad kalbos barjeras nesukliudys mums bendrauti ir pasikalb\u0117ti mano knyg\u0173, jau i\u0161verst\u0173 \u012f lietuvi\u0173 kalb\u0105, temomis. Man labai \u012fdomu su\u017einoti, kas jus domina mano nagrin\u0117jamose temose. Kaip ra\u0161ytojas jau pasteb\u0117jau, kad skirtingose \u0161alyse mano mintis priima skirtingai: nuo Ispanijos iki Japonijos \u2013 \u017emon\u0117s u\u017eduoda skirtingus klausimus.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201eSusiduriant su visuotin\u0117mis negandomis, kaip karas ar pandemija, i\u0161gyventi padeda tarpusavio paguoda, palaikymas ir vienyb\u0117\u201c, \u2013 sako \u017einomas pranc\u016bz\u0173 psichologas ir psichoterapeutas Christophe Andr\u00e9, \u0161i\u0173 met\u0173 Vilniaus knyg\u0173 mug\u0117s sve\u010dias. Vasario 25 d., \u0161e\u0161tadien\u012f, 12 val. 5.1 sal\u0117je Ch. Andr\u00e9 pristatys naujausi\u0105 lietuvi\u0161kai pasirod\u017eiusi\u0105 knyg\u0105 \u201ePaguoda\u201c. Autori\u0173 kalbins \u017eurnalistas Valdas Puteikis. \u201ePasteb\u0117jau, kad skirtingose \u0161alyse…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":34,"featured_media":13089,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,165],"tags":[2087,372,2086,23,476],"class_list":["post-13084","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-naujienos","category-psichologija","tag-christophe-andre","tag-knygu-muge","tag-paguoda","tag-psichologija","tag-tyto-alba"],"yoast_head":"\n\u012e Knyg\u0173 mug\u0119 atvykstantis psichologas Ch. Andr\u00e9: \u201eNelaim\u0117s \u2013 gyvenimo nuomos mokestis, privalome j\u012f mok\u0117ti nesinervindami\u201c - Knygos.lt blogas<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u012e Knyg\u0173 mug\u0119 atvykstantis psichologas Ch. Andr\u00e9: \u201eNelaim\u0117s \u2013 gyvenimo nuomos mokestis, privalome j\u012f mok\u0117ti nesinervindami\u201c. Skaityk lap\u0117s m\u0117lynak\u0117s u\u017era\u0161us ir su\u017einokite kar\u0161\u010diausias naujienas i\u0161 knyg\u0173 pasaulio.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.knygos.lt\/blogas\/i-knygu-muge-atvykstantis-psichologas-ch-andre-nelaimes-gyvenimo-nuomos-mokestis-privalome-ji-moketi-nesinervindami\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"lt_LT\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\u012e Knyg\u0173 mug\u0119 atvykstantis psichologas Ch. 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